What Is Happiness? And How Can I Be Happy?
Behavioural scientists have spent a lot of time studying what makes us happy (and what doesn’t). For example, we know happiness can predict health and longevity, but happiness isn’t something that just happens to you.
Everyone has the power to make small changes in our behaviour, our surroundings and our relationships that can help set us on course for a happier life.
How happy are you on a scale from 1 to 10?
This question has been asked again and again across many countries and across thousands of people. Almost nobody answers ten. But most people do think that they’re substantially happier than the midpoint. The reality is that the most common answers are seven and eight.
A study asked this question across 42 countries, and they found that the average in all of them wasn’t below five. In this study, the happiest were the Swiss, and the most “miserable” were the Bulgarians.
So, your answer to the question has some real value. It seems to have real meaning, but at the same time, any single reading isn’t perfectly reliable and could be swayed by minor effects.
For instance, in one study, they tested people in the psychology department, and half of the people were asked the question on a sunny day, the other half on a rainy day. It turned out when asked how good your whole life is, people are more optimistic about their life when you ask them on a sunny day.
So, what is happiness?
Happiness is an emotional state characterised by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfilment. When you’re happy, that means your needs have been satisfied.
Steve Pinker sums this up quite nicely. He notes, “We are happier when we are healthy, well-fed, comfortable, safe, prosperous, knowledgeable, respected, non-celibate, and loved. If you look in your life and you could tick off all of these things, then my bet is that you are pretty darn happy.”
But then, Pinker notes himself that it’s not quite that simple. It’s not like people get progressively happier as their status in life increases. Also, there are individual differences in happiness.
Happiness doesn’t change as much as you think.
Some people are naturally cheerful, optimistic, and joyous. Others are more reticent, and maybe glum and less happy. This doesn’t mean that a miserable person can’t achieve great happiness, or a very happy person can’t become desperate.
But just as with other psychological traits, it means that to some extent, there are powerful influences on us even before we’re born. Happiness is heritable.
What about life events?
Think of what’s the worst thing that could happen to you?
Imagine that for a second. How much would it change your happiness?
Then ask, what’s the best thing that can happen to you?
Again, how much would it change your happiness?
It turns out that the answer’s somewhat surprising. Studies have looked at responses to different life events, including becoming a paraplegic in an accident or winning an enormous sum of money.
And it turns out all of these events do have some influence on happiness, but it’s not a considerable influence. And even the most influential, most powerful sorts of events — like becoming paralysed — make you miserable for a certain time, like six months or maybe for a couple of years. But then you tend to get back to where you started from.
We tend to get used to both positive and adverse events.
And there are a couple of reasons why.
One is that the things you might think are incredibly important — like winning a fantastic prize — for 99.99% of your life, that prize doesn’t seem to make that much difference. You still have to deal with your family and take out the laundry and engage in your work.
Day-to-day life is often simply uninfluenced by things that seem very important at the time.
The second reason these events don’t matter very much is the adaptation. When events happen, you simply get used to them, and we adapt to good and bad things.
A third answer is defended by Dan Gilbert, which is called the psychological immune system. He analysed people who lived terrible experiences, like being falsely imprisoned. After having lived that, they said, “that was the best experience in my life”. That is what happens when you seek out the good side of things. (You can see this Ted Talks to better understand this point).
Indeed it’s not so much what happens to you that determines how happy you are. It’s how you perceive it.
Last but not least point is about the influences on happiness.
For example, would you rather make $40,000 if everybody else in your office makes 20,000 or 50,000 and everyone else makes 70,000?
Well, your mileage may vary. I think a lot of people would simply choose the absolute number more, which is option B. But I think to some extent, we’d be swayed by option A. We would be making absolutely less, but we’re making more relative to other people.
In fact, the happiness literature suggests that one way to predict how happy somebody is is not merely through their total income or absolute status in the world. But where they stand relative to other people, and some savvy negotiators know this.
If you want to live a happier life, here are some tips that may help you:
- Focus on what you already have, be aware that in 2020 9.4% of the world survived with $1.90 a day or less.
- Challenge your negative thoughts. The goal is to get you from a negative mindset to a more positive one. From an “I’m a failure” to “I’ve had a lot of success in my career. This is just one setback that doesn’t reflect on me. I can learn from it and be better”.
- Get moving and controlled breathing. Studies have found that when people get up and move, even a little, they tend to be happier than when they are still. Also, breathing practices can help reduce symptoms associated with anxiety, insomnia, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and attention deficit disorder. For centuries yogis have used breath control, or pranayama, to promote concentration and improve vitality. Buddha advocated breath-meditation as a way to reach enlightenment.
- Rewrite your story. Some research suggests that writing in a personal journal for 15 minutes a day can boost overall happiness and well-being. It allows us to express our emotions, be mindful of our circumstances, and resolve inner conflicts.
This blog contribution was made by Eleonora Papini.
Eleonora is originally from Italy, she is passionate about human psychology, sustainable development and international cooperation. Eleonora works as a Project Implementation Officer in a European project about urban sustainable development solutions aimed at valuing the young and female entrepreneurship industry.
In 2021 became also a Data Analyst for the LMF Network and content creator for their blog.
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SOURCES
- Martin Seligman (2017) “Authentic Happiness”.
- Jonathan Haidt, (2021) “The Happiness Hypothesis”.
- Daniel Nettle, (2006) “Happiness:The Science behind Your Smile”.
- Daniel Gilbert, (2006) “Stumbling on Happiness”.
- NYT,() “How to be Happy”.
